All In

I have begun to truly realize what love is...it is inseperable from commitment. I have learned this in tending to my son, this daunting first year of his life. In deeply loving my step-son while taking a backseat to his mother. In getting my hands in the dirt and hoping and waiting to see what sun and rain will do to tiny seeds. In realizing the difficulty of marriage and valuing the difficulty itself. This pouring out, this hand in hand, side by side, step by step... is grueling. My ego shreds. Sometimes the ties that bind, chaffe. I am not in control; I am in love, with these children and this work and this, one man. So I move in closer for another shared breath on shared ground. My heartbeat measures out my time here... I'm in. All the way. And I know that whatever I sow, that, will I also, reap.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes, it always preserveres. Love never fails." ~from 1 Corinthians 13